Till death do us part

I heard a rumour. My neighbourhood friend and I had chatted about fragility of life in my earlier blog entry Sound Finance. Close people around us had passed away suddenly. When I went over to my grandmother's place, my parents also brought up the topic of how fragile life can be. It was then my grandmother revealed a surprising and somewhat scandalous observation. Being of a ripe old age and witnessing the passing of many people, she had noticed that in most cases of loving couples, the more caring of the two spouses would usually pass on early. There was an uncle of ours who doted on his wife but did not make it pass his 50th year. Apparently there were also numerous examples of caring husbands who would even gladly chip in and help with the housework but dying early. The statistics were shocking and it seems that bickering couples are the type that would live till a ripe old age.

There is no scientific evidence to suggest that this finding is true. Yet perhaps bickering couples exhaust so much by arguing that it probably gives them good cardiovascular exercise and more will power to survive. A pious auntie of mine offered a different view. She said that it was probably God's way to relieve suffering but then again it can be argued from different angles. If some higher being had a hand to play in this affair, then wouldn't it be so cruel that fate decides that loving couples should only be allowed a short time to be together?

Pessimists will tell you that Fate is indeed cold and unfeeling. Fate makes a sport of Man and there are endless fiction and real life accounts of tragic love stories. Usually in movies or books, the seemingly perfect couple will go through numerous trials and tribulations before the possibility of being together. There is no guarantee that they will "live happily ever after" and in some cases even the eventual gatherings are short-lived. Perhaps my grandmother's observation isn't too far-fetched after all.

Yet this finding is contrary to most people's ideals and beliefs. Many people dream of an ideal partner; a Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet. They dream of a beautiful marriage and loving a person as much as that same person loving them back. It is a scene of bliss as the couple spends the rest of their lives together. That is why many people take time and patience to seek out that Mr or Ms Right in their lives. There may not be such a thing as the perfect partner but definitely choosing someone with better compatibility can make life easier for both.

But what is the point of finally meeting someone you truly love and can connect, only to spend a brief period of time together? Or maybe you should not love your spouse so much to avoid dying early? The statistics could be accurate but if I do get married, my wife would get my undivided love--for a price I would gladly pay.