Be Tender

I've been hearing so many real life break up stories over the past year that it almost seems like a trend. In fact, perhaps it is already a trend, as more and more couples choose divorce as an alternative. In a more traditional setting, divorce is frowned upon and divorcees are shunned by society. Nowadays, couples get married and in some cases the first sign of trouble, they choose to bail out. Society has become more forgiving and single parents are on the rise.

I'm not against the idea of divorce and neither would I look differently at someone who has divorced. Yet isn't marriage considered as something sacred? Perhaps many couples jump too quickly into marriage without even thinking seriously about the relationship. In some of the cases I've heard, is that they already knew their partners were of a certain way and hoped that they would change, but didn't. Marriage shouldn't be treated as a game, and both parties need to be clear of what they are getting into before committing.

Many times, children are the innocent victims of a failed marriage. Sure it is possible to be a single parent but who really knows what goes on psychologically in the child? I know friends who come from single parent families and they have shared with me their struggles emotionally when growing up.

The mentality of many modern couples I've met is that each living their own agenda but complementing each other in a form of partnership called their relationship. There are usually a lot of mind games involved about who should give in to who. I wonder if this is healthy at all as the couple might end up hurting each other emotionally. As expectations of a partner lead to disappointments, either half will seek to further their own self-interest at the expense of the relationship. Modern society makes it possible to live out on your own, and the feeling of self-importance will soon overwhelm the want of being together, thus eventually leading to a break up.

Maybe we should all reflect on our relationships and re-evaluate what matters most in the relationship. Treat love with tenderness.

Bee Gees - Fanny (Be Tender With My Love)


First I rise, then I fall.
Seems like you don't want the love of this man at all.
And it's sure been a lonely time right up to the time I met you.
So if you take a love like mine,
Ooh, be tender with my love.
You know how easy it is to hurt me.
Fanny, be tender with my love,
'Cause it's all that I've got,
And my love won't desert me.

So you say to yourself, "Boy, you're out of your brain.
Do you think I'm gonna stand here all night in the rain?"
And it's the start of a love affair, the moment when I first met you.
And if you want, I'll take you there.
Ooh, be tender with my love.
You know how easy it is to break me.
Fanny, be tender with my love,
'Cause it's all that I've got
And my love won't forsake me.

With my love, our love will seal it together.
Oh, with our love, you made a promise
You'll always love me forever.

Be tender with my love.
You know how easy it is to break it.
Fanny, be tender with my love,
'Cause it's all that I got,
And my love won't forsake me.